The Shiraz was rough going, with flavors that reminded us of grape gumdrops, bluebery jam, rubber boots, and graphite. The Merlot was harsh, with charred notes and crushed cherries but an overwhelming vegetal flavor and scent. The winner was the Cabernet Sauvignon which was a little overly sweet and juicy, but not too harsh, with pleasant peppery plum notes. We're not saying it was exciting, but it's drinkable.
White and Pink
The inoffensive Pinot Grigio was the winner. Though it's on the sweet side, there's fresh acidity to help balance it out. We tasted honeysuckle and kiwi, with a bit of bitter lime peel. The Sauvignon Blanc was a bit less clean-tasting, a little musty, and had too much alcohol on the finish. We wished for a bit more fruity flavor. The Chardonnay was a bit more viscous than the others, with hints of sugar-free vanilla syrup and honeydew. A bit better than the Sauvignon Blanc, but not much. The White Zinfandel was sweet without any tartness, and tasted like mango nectar mixed with strawberry Kool-Aid.
What To Do With Bad White Wine
Make a better wine spritzer using ginger ale (we like Fever Tree) and fresh lime juice. It's called The Operator and it's delicious, even when made with our least-favorite white wine.
What To Do With Bad Red Wine
When you taste this fruity, tart frozen sangria, you'll never guess that the wine in it is awful. Feel free to experiment with different frozen fruit, though the raspberries really work well.
What To Do With Sweet Pink Wine
As long as you've got sweet pink wine, you might as well have a little fun with it. The Waltzing Matilda is fragrant and fruity, with a bit of complexity from gin and Cointreau, and a little sweetness from passionfruit syrup. Feel free to stick an umbrella in it.