If nothing else, Kickstart—the new breakfast beverage from Mountain Dew's fortress of extremitude—wins points for sheer ambition. Positioning itself as "a fresh alternative to the age old morning question of 'coffee or juice'" (for people who have never heard of every other beverage in the world, I suppose), it promises to provide a highly caffeinated spike to your usual morning routine of ski-jumping, body-surfing, or radical commuting.
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We probably should have known better than to embark on a taste test of 9 different canned coffee energy drinks, but we were curious (and a few of the brands we tasted when trying to figure out the best ready-to-drink canned coffee also offered an added-energy version.) How'd they fare? Not so good.