She proceeds to sip on the coffee while talking to herself, getting crazier by the second. She finally turned her conversation with herself into an argument, at which point I asked her kindly if she could finish her drink and leave. She didn’t respond but continued to get louder and louder, at this point without having any more of her coffee. Finally, I pulled her drink away as I refunded her $8, letting her know that it was time for her to leave. She didn’t seem to like that. She grabbed her bag off of the stool, stood up, reached towards her eye socket and removed her glass eye and set it on the bar. I was shocked! I pointed towards the door and asked her one more time to leave. You can’t make that up!" — JP Cornell (Tony’s Pizza Napoletana)
NYPD and the ER
So I told him I’d be right back with their coats. The girlfriend came back as I was getting them, and as soon as I approached the table she sprung up and started apologizing profusely for her date. He took a different approach by standing up, ripping the coats out of my hand, and screaming. Spit was flying out of his mouth he was so angry. So I grabbed his arm and walked him to the door and the whole time he was just screaming in my face. The moment they were outside they immediately turned away from each other and walked briskly in opposite directions!" — Steve Wildy (Amis)
I'll Get Ya!
Fell Down the Stairs
No Third Chance
Red Sox Opener
Carried Him Out
Six months later I saw him walk into the pub from which he was, obviously, barred. He saw me from the door and shouted "Am I still barred?"
And with that, he turned on his heel and walked out!—John Cummins (The Dawson Lounge)