Diner Grill is a 24-hour joint inside of a beat-up old train car, and it's pretty much known in Chicago for serving what I like to call "belligerent drunk people food." They serve breakfast, burgers, and fries, at all hours of the day, but most people show up around 2 a.m. looking for something greasy to fill their post night-of-mayhem hunger pangs.
These guys are known for a dish called The Slinger, ($9.75) which is an impressively oily pile of hash browns, two cheeseburger patties, and grilled onions, served drowning in canned chili with two eggs on top. Let's face it, not one single component of this thing is very good, but when you're hung over or drunk and you want a monster pile of potatoes, eggs, meat, and grease, well, here you go. It straddles the line between kind-of-gross and kind-of-awesome.
Just to encourage you to take the plunge, they have a mini eating challenge set up for this epic dish. If you finish the whole mess, they'll give you a champion's certificate.
So I went finished the whole thing, which was difficult...only to find out they had run out of certificates. I wanted to bang my head on the counter over and over, all for a stupid piece of paper. It was sort of like the time I drank an entire bottle of saline laxative at the office for $200 before getting the money in my hand. I earned $35 dollars and I couldn't sit straight for two days afterwards. Yes, I have a reputation for making infernally stupid decisions.
I posted the picture of my plate and disappointment to Facebook, and when I got home, my sweet girlfriend presented me with this:
So I'll always have that. I'll always have that.
Full disclosure: I may or may not have hidden two pieces of toast inside my jacket pocket so I could get the certificate. One of them was buttered.
1635 West Irving Park Road, Chicago, IL (map); 773-248-2030
About the author: After a failed attempt at starting a chain of theme restaurants called "Smellen Keller," Dennis Lee traveled the world to discover his true passion. Sadly, midwifery didn't pan out. Now he works in a cubicle, and screws around as much as possible. Follow his shenanigans on Twitter.